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The Commitment

I keep waiting for you to let me down.
I keep waiting for you to get tired of me.
I keep waiting for you to turn your back on me.
I keep waiting for you to tell me my effort is not good enough.
I keep waiting for you to tell me that I’ve crossed the line of your forgiveness.
I keep waiting for you to discard me upon discovery of yet another one of my faults.
I keep waiting for you to be disappointed in me.
I keep waiting for you to tell me to try harder.
I keep waiting for your notification that I’m not good enough for you.
I keep waiting for you to lead me into failure.
I keep waiting for you to humiliate me.
I keep waiting for you to let my enemies prevail over me to teach me a lesson. 
I keep looking for ways to prove that you can’t be trusted.
I keep looking for ways to show that you’ve let me down.
I keep looking for evidence that you’ve left me alone.
I keep looking for proof that you don’t keep your word.
I keep trying to blame you.
I keep trying to prove that you aren’t good.
I keep looking for the limits of your love.
I keep trying to prove that I’m good enough for you, and I can’t. 
You refuse to stop being good.
You refuse to stop showing me kindness.
You refuse to stop pursuing me.
You refuse to stop working on, with and through me.
You refuse to stop telling me the truth.
You refuse to stop whispering your love to me.
You refuse to stop waiting to spend time with me.
You refuse to stop delighting over me.
You refuse to delete my name from the palm of your hand.
You refuse to take your eyes away from me. 
You refuse to stop surrounding me with armies of protection.
You refuse to deny that I am yours. 
When you said you’d never leave me, you meant it.
When you said NOTHING could separate me from your love, you meant it.
When you said it was worth dying so I could live, you meant it.
When you said you’d take every punishment I deserved, you meant it.
When you said you would take my shame so I could walk free, you meant it.
When you chose me, you meant it.
When you said you’d adopt me, you didn’t change your mind. 
When you said “I do” you committed to me. Eternally.

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